Referenced, Rubricked Rehab: ...on obsession and compulsion

earlier this morning: an introduction

It was still before 10AM on a Sunday morning… plenty of time to get energized and productive. I had even had a bit-too-full-for-my-stomach Vienna Crepe full of sun-dried tomatoes, spinach, pine nuts, and other vegetable goodness that made me warm inside while fueling my body with proper nutrients (rather than the sugar-filled crap I usually grab on the go with my coffee). Yet leaving the Bean Bag Café, my jumpy edginess returned. I felt the restlessness creep back, stealing into my thoughts like a leaking faucet creeping into your unconscious until it slowly takes over your every compulsion, neuron by painstaking neuron.

This feeling always starts the same: gnawing at my doubt, slowly fraying my confidence and sense to peace until the cord of composure is visible but structurally undermined. Yet still I don’t let on. Next, a twitch like pre-marathon jitters… perhaps pent-up energy waiting to be released until I can find my rhythm. I convince myself that my breakfast has given me a burst of hyperactivity, and still I don’t let on. But despite my mental reassurances, I begin to slightly pace a bit differently, to the point where I feel like a newfound smoker looking for his next drag… jittery and jumpy and acting like a recently-caffeinated addict without the benefit of an outlet.

At this point, I drop back a step and mask my uneasiness with a look of daydreaming. I look around and nonverbally signal I need a moment to myself. Unfortunately, the moment never passes. As I continue to segregate myself my distraction becomes obsession. I need to calm myself somehow. I need to think about something other than my restlessness. Despite a few calming breaths, my thoughts linger and obsession becomes compulsion. I need to do something else. So even if it’s a bit abrupt and awkward, as soon as we return home I gather my stuff and announce my need to go work at a café.

So here I am.

Previously, a change of scenery would be enough to calm the nerves, but now the edginess follows me if I don’t do something. I think back on all those moments of compulsion to action and realize I’ve wasted time with changing homes or physical locations instead of delving into my curiosity. So with the quick (if oblique or obtuse) introduction to obsession and compulsion (we’ll save motivation and curiosity for some other time), let’s focus on the meaning, origin and use of these two words.

OBSESSION…

Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary dates the word “obsession” back to 1680.[i] While the word can also mean the object, idea, or something that causes an obsession, the root definition is “a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.”[ii]

A more medical definition can be found on Healthline: “An obsession is an unwelcome, uncontrollable, and persistent idea, thought, image, or emotion that a person cannot help thinking even though it creates significant distress or anxiety.”[iii]

This definition underlines the more serious, dark associations that society has with obsessions. Whether linked to the simple definition of obsessive rumination[iv] – the preoccupation with certain thoughts, a multitude of phobias[v] – or obsessive fears – that lead to an excessive unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject,[vi] hypochondria that leads to constant worry over health or doubt to professional diagnosis,[vii] or love obsession – or when one person is emotionally obsessed with another person (also known as “love addition” or “relationship addition”)[viii] and which can be the cause of such serious actions as stalking or more serious crimes of passion.

However, despite serious clinical diagnoses and other more disturbing outcomes, not all meanings or portrayals of obsession are so dark and serious. Pop culture icons and references to such single-minded determination or thought processes include John Cusack’s carefully-cultivated neurotic[ix] movie personality (in its many variations of idiosyncratic behavior from Say Anything and One Crazy Summer to Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity) to 19th century poet Lord Byron’s momentary obsession when he first saw his cousin Mrs. Wilmot, as immortalized in “She Walks in Beauty”[x] (yet never came to dark or lasting influence on his object of affection).

In fact, Merriam Webster’s also notes that the word “obsession” more broadly means a “compelling motivation.”[xi] In this sense, many of today’s modern inspirations are celebrated in movies, whether from the inspired devotion of Lesra (Lazarus) Martin to help acquit Rubin “Hurricane” Carter of a wrongful conviction for triple homicide after 30 years of imprisonment[xii] (as depicted in The Hurricane), to the determined self-expression and difficulties of alternative personal identities that lead to the horrific tragedy of Brandon Teena[xiii] (as portrayed in Boys Don’t Cry), to the exploration of the fine line between the genius and madness of John Forbes Nash[xiv] (as shown in A Beautiful Mind).

In such a colloquial context, “obsession” may not be all that bad. Imagine the MBA student who is not driven to be ultra-productive in single-minded pursuit of his or her goal. Or even consider the more artistic context of the writer. In Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within, celebrated author and writing seminar facilitator Natalie Goldberg explains how writers end up writing about their obsessions, those “things that haunt them.”[xv] Goldberg describes how the repression of an obsession to focus on other subjects can end up creating the opposite effect because repressing her obsession “seems to repress everything else too,”[xvi] simply because she spends so much energy and thought avoiding that subject. In such a way, our obsessions may seem to have too much power, but Goldberg asserts by giving them a time and place in a friendly way, we can then satisfy our needs and move on to other subjects as well. In this way, giving into obsession can be a good thing; whether giving us something to write about or engage in, if harnessed properly obsession can be an energizing force.

…and COMPULSION

“We are run by our compulsions.”[xvii]

An idle assertion by Goldberg when writing about obsessions. But what exactly is compulsion? Beyond the single-minded determination of thought, Goldberg’s discussion of need to write about our obsessions introduces the impulse to act. It seems that obsession is only half of the story.

Merriam Webster’s defines “compulsion” as “an irresistible persistent impulse to perform an act (as excessive hand washing);” also, it goes on to define compulsion as the act itself.[xviii]

Compulsions are often exhibited in two ways. First, there is drug addiction. But often the idea of compulsion is also paired with obsession, the idea being that an obsessive thought or rumination precedes a person’s strong impulse to act in a particular way. This is called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD.[xix] Symptoms usually include obsessions or compulsions that are not du to another medical illness yet still cause major distress or interfere with everyday life. [xx] Commonly acknowledged categories of OCD patients that may affect life include washers, checkers, doubters, counters and arrangers, and hoarders.[xxi] Often, this disorder is treated with a class of antidepressant drugs known as SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), which include famous name brands such as Prozac and Zoloft.[xxii]

According to the Stanford School of Medicine, serious implications or depictions of this disorder are implied as far back as the 17th century, though the modern concept of OCD has its roots in the 19th century French and German psychiatrists.[xxiii] French psychiatrists subscribed to emotional and volitional views; German psychiatrists focused on OCD as a disorder of intellect. Meanwhile, earlier depictions of the serious nature of this disorder even include the character Lady Macbeth’s compulsive hand washing in Act V, Scene one of William Shakespeare’s 17th century play, Macbeth.[xxiv]

As with obsession, not all depictions of compulsion are so dark or serious. Lighter pop culture references include Tony Shalhoub’s hilarious depiction of the obsessive-compulsive (but highly effective) Detective Adrian Monk from USA Network’s series Monk.[xxv] Here, Adrian Monk is able to harness his obsessive-compulsive tendencies to uncover obscure patterns to better solve crimes. Similarly, Michael J. Fox’s guest appearance on the series Scrubs portrays obsessive-compulsive Dr. Kevin Casey as a quirky but brilliant doctor.[xxvi] However the nuanced portrayal also reveals the frustrations and difficulties of those diagnosed with OCD when Dr. Kevin Casey cannot keep himself from washing his hands for over 3 hours after he has last finished performing a surgery.[xxvii]

Like “obsession,” the word “compulsion” is a very serious term that depicts a debilitating disorder. Surely, even given the events of this morning and the past semester, it is hard to subscribe to this definition. Perhaps such behavior is best described as simply restless or idiosyncratic. However, by understanding these two terms better and using the broader social meaning of the words, one can at least hope to harness the future restless, jittery moments and turn them into something more driven, more constructive.

References and Further Resources

Healthline provides HealthMaps ® that allow you to interactively search the web for overviews, diagnosis, symptoms, and treatments for disorders such as Obsessions (http://www.healthline.com/healthmaps/obsessions?utm_term=obsession&utm_medium=mw&utm_campaign=hmap).

Natalie Goldberg has long practiced sitting (and writing) meditation, formally studying at the Minnesota Zen Center in Minneapolis with Dainin Katagiri Roshi (http://www.mnzencenter.org/mzmc.html). Her official website can be found at: http://www.nataliegoldberg.com/.

For all other references and resources, please view the endnotes.

Endnotes

Referenced, Rubricked Rehab

Sunday, January 11, 2009

...on obsession and compulsion

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